Be Mine…or else

Oh Valentines Day, how I do I love thee? I don’t really…

I have one Offspring heartbroken about tomorrow and the other baking cookies for their valentine.  I was told on the weekend that my Valentine is taking me to Cats! All of this for an over rated holiday in the middle of winter.

Back in the OLDEN DAYS called the 1970’s, Valentines were paper with the occasional box of chocolate or flower given out. I had a boyfriend who looked at flowers as a waste of money, so he would give me a plant. I would kill it out of spite. I wouldnt even get a card from him. Then there was the year he had his wisdom teeth removed on Valentines Day…ya I became jaded. He did want to ever give me a box of chocolates, but he did give me an exercise bike. I know…he was a keeper – she said dripping in sarcasm.

I feel for one Offspring and am excited for the other, it made me a little nostalgic for the cards we would make as kids and give out to our pals. I made a card for everyone…sadly I never received a lot in return. That was saved for Leslie, the blonde Goddess of the third grade. Oh if Brad had only noticed me then… Who am I kidding. Short Italian kid who is likely still only up to my knees… but he was cute in a Marty McFly kind of way.

As I was searching for Valentine Cards to make to give to my Valentine, I stumbled up on vintage cards and had a real laugh. Corny with a capital C! That is what makes them so amazing! I am SURE you will find the perfect sentiment for your Valentine!

Valentines for those Domestic Types

Give Your Valentine a Politically Incorrect Card!

Seriously? A Hanging is romantic?

I Hope I win the Hobo!

Nothing Says I Love You more than a good killing

Domestic Abuse Valentine

Sure ya did….”rash” looks like bruises to me!

The Classic Double Entendre Valentine

I am leaving you with the ever Creepy Valentine – from me to you

Because really, who are we kidding, Valentines Day is all about the creepy stalker if you don’t get what you want from who you want it from. I know you will be creeping facebook and twitter to see where your valentine is.

Please be my Valentine…or at the very least Don’t be my Valentine and see if I care.

Happy Valentines Day!