Read With Me: Raising My Rainbow by Lori Duron

bookshotI read a lot. Everything from memoirs and fiction to text books and journals. I try to keep current with news but news is boring unless is is actual REAL news, like the stuff going on in Syria or the way the Americans are talking about sending troops to Syria when they have a huge pile of mess in their own backyard and no money to fix anything…but I digress.

I have been on a memoir kick recently and am in the middle of some great running books. I am currently trying to gobble up any and all information about extreme running events. Things that the crew or people have to do to support the runner in their quest. I go through obsessive phases. I will read everything I can about a subject and then move on. Running currently is my obsessive focus, but I sprinkle other books into that mix.

I have 3 books on the go right now. I had 4, but just finished one. Then I will finish my running book. I have a book on my phone that I will save for appointments and such. The last book on the go is fiction. I am not in the head space right now for fiction. Maybe when it gets colder and I will snuggle under my down comforter with my nose peeking out while I read, that to me is a fiction kind of night.

The latest book I read was Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son by Lori Duron.

4 stars out of 5

I would have given this 5 stars except I am a regular reader of her blog. She started it a few years ago as a way to talk about what was going on for her and her family and by doing so, was hoping there were others out there to connect with. We all want to feel like we belong and are accepted when we know we are different from the norm. Some of the stories in Duron’s book  are right from her blog. It felt repetitive for me but to her credit, she went into a depth that was not previously seen on her blog. I am fascinated with this family and have been for years. Not in that creepy way of staking someone, but in that empathetic and understanding way. I like knowing there are other moms out there who will move heaven and earth to protect their child while trying to find that balance to raise a healthy and loved child. Parenting is tricky and damn hard. It’s not like there is a set of instructions that come with the baby. We all are doing the best we can with the skills and knowledge we have. The Duron Family is no different, except they have a child who is gender non-conforming.

So what does that mean?

Sex is in your pants, gender is in the brain. Her little fellow knows he is a boy. He is physically a boy. He likes all the girly stuff that has ever been created. He appears to be transitioning into a girl through clothing and hair change. I think it takes courage to be the parent who supports your child’s choices no matter what. This book is full of courage because it is written about fear. The Duron’s fear and love is evident throughout this book. The choices they make may not have been the choices I made but I will never really know because MY children are different. Every family has it’s own challenges. Every parent tries their best to figure out how to meet these challenges. The Duron’s are no different. I like that. I like that she seems normal, as if we would have been friends. I can respect her choices. I can’t say I can respect everyone’s choices because I think families need to put the well being of their minor children first. But that is a personal value of mine and I understand that everyone’s values are different.

I loved the way this book would make me smile. Its a good day when you are reading with a twinkly in your eye and a smile on your lips. I loved having an insight to the LGTBQ community. I have friends who belong to this community but they are guarded, and rightly so, the world is a tough place and is currently not very kind to this community, HELLO RUSSIA I am looking at YOU! It is moms like Lori Duron who are changing the world one corner at a time.

I love that.

Read the book.

 

 

Things I learned in Preschool

Another year has passed by and I sent my lovelies off to kindergarten today. I cried during the good-bye song. I never do. 25 years and I can hold it together But this group was …. different. I cannot put my finger on it, but they were special in the way that I marveled at how smart there were. Not once did I have to say “It is not okay to lick the bathroom floor” Yes I have had to say it in years previous. I couldn’t trick these kids. They were on to me. Too smart for you Miss Tourist! It’s true, they were. I learned some cool stuff anyways. It is ALWAYS a good day when you learn something new, in this case -it was a good year because I learned 7 new things.

1) Kids don’t taste like cookies. One day I was sitting at the manipulative table talking with a young girl. We were discussing what made a nice person. We talked about being kind and helpful. I said to the child “you’re so sweet I bet if I ate you, you would taste like cookies”
The child replied, “no, I’d taste like skin”

2) Not all kids want to be teacher when they grow up. Shocking isn’t it? Around the circle we went asking what we were going to be when we grew up. I heard a Captain America, Teacher, Dad, but my favorite? A Psychologist. What 4 year old knows that? That was awesome.

3) When you live in a large family, sometimes you don’t know everyone. A mom brought a puppy to school to show the class the new family member. I asked the little boy (who was the owner of the puppy) what is your pups name? His reply with wide eyes innocence, “I HAVE A PUPPY????”

4) Four year olds know all about sarcasm. I often sit at the snack table and ask all kinds of questions. For example “what did you eat for breakfast?” The focus for me is to hear sentence length, content, vocabulary and if the child can follow the direction of the conversation. At the beginning of the year they would just look at me and blink. By June they would say “My mom made bananas and cereal. I then had cheese”. I would mess it up and pretend I didn’t hear what they were saying. So my reply would be “You had bananas, cereal and FLEAS? Is you mom crazy?” Today I knew they were ready to graduate because I received a sarcastic reply “Yes Miss Tourist I eat FLEAS for breakfast…”  That was AWESOME!

English:
English: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5) Sometimes science experiments go very wrong and scientists never cry. We had 6 caterpillars this year and watched them change into chrysalis and then waited FOREVER to change into butterflies. Only two turned into beautiful butterflies. One had shredded wings. Two never made it to the chrysalis stage and one never came out of his chrysalis. The children decided that the butterfly with the shredded wings would be bird food. I swear to GOD that is what they said. “Poor little doody is bird food. Game over Miss Tourist” We talked about the other one that never came out, BIRD FOOD they all chimed in! Wow… practical yet heartless. No one cried.

6) No one likes food. We put a variety of fruit and veg on the table every day with the single rule of you must try. Try means touch, taste, sniff or lick. It does not mean swallow. Although swallow is what we hope for. We hear a lot of “I don’t like…” what ever is on the table and then we ask have you tried it today? Of course the answer is NO. Today we had a gift of Rainbow bread from student. I judged it just like my table companions. Only I never judge out loud. One gal said, I HATE RAINBOW BREAD it is DISGUSTING” I was inclined to agree, but we all had taste it before the ice cream celebration sundae social could begin. So we all poked it, sniffed it and then ate it. I am happy to report we did not die after swallowing it. In fact, it tasted just like White Toast. The young gal who denied liking it, divided up the Rainbow bread for her peers. She gave everyone a single piece, and 5 for herself. Apparently she didn’t hate it today.

7) I learned that this group was the very first group who really knew what it meant when you said, today is the last day. One fellow who was arguably the brightest in the class, didn’t seem to understand. He said, if today is the last day, what will happen when we get on the bus tomorrow? I explained to him, the bus won’t be coming. School is over for 64 days. Where will we go? he replied with a look of panic on his face. I held both his hands and explained again, Your mom will look after you. You don’t come back here anymore because today you are smart enough for kindergarten. He looked at me with a sad expression and said, but what happens to our school? Is it closed now for 64 days, just like the sandbox was when we put sand in our friends hair?

He walked away, and then came back to hug me. He finally understood – or perhaps he was in denial before. This was the class that cried when we group hugged, and didn’t want to run around the trees while we waited for the bus. They stood close to their teachers, held our hands and talked a lot about “remember when”.