I Have Muppet Swag and YOU Don’t

I saw this tour bus and I went nuts! The enthusiasm exuded from my pores. My daughter was completely slightly embarrassed. I was over the moon!

I quickly took a picture and ran up to the bus to see if it was one of those Disney Interactive things! No such luck. The bus was empty and the driver just stared blankly at me. Not deterred, I was anxious to enter the movie theatre to see if the Muppets were inside.

We were greeted at the door by a guy in a blue leisure suit and a gal in a polka dot dress. They approached ChatterBox and asked if she would like a movie poster. She said sure. I said, “But I’m a bigger Muppet fan than her, may I have one too?” The fellow was very kind and gave me some awesome Muppet Swag! I asked if those crazy Muppets were around and he said, “No it’s too cold.” Ummm, too cold? They are MADE OF FUR! I didn’t buy that for a second, pfffffff too cold – whatever. But I understood what his stance was, -26C is too cold for humans, never mind Muppets, so we were stuck with them. I chatted happily about how much I love those furry guys so they asked if they could take my picture. I said sure, did my best Diva Miss Piggy Pose and CLICK! They took it with an old fashion digital, the kind that doesn’t email or upload to twitter. I asked the purpose of the photo and was told it was for promotions to show marketing does work and generate excitement.

Hell Ya! I was super excited over a poster and bookmarks! If I had a locker at school, it would be going up on the door! As it is, I may frame it and hang it in my office. ChatterBox reminded me she needed to get to her friend’s birthday party. They were seeing Breaking Dawn. What else would teen girls being seeing? (Go Naked Team Jacob!) So we found her friends gathered and I chatted briefly with some parents, when that Guy in the Blue Suit walked up behind me to get ChatterBox’s attention.


He opened his jacket in such a way I thought he was selling hot watches, but he had a stuffed Miss Piggy for ChatterBox because she was so enthusiastic.

I was OUTRAGED! I was the enthusiastic one, I am the biggest fan! I watched the muppets since the 60’s THE 60’S PEOPLE! And she is the one who gets the Pig. Not Cool Blue Suit guy, Not Cool.

I then confiscate her Pig and bid her fun and farewell. I march right over to BlueSuit guy and say “Thanks for Miss Piggy, but she won’t share. Have a lovely day!” BlueSuit Guy stopped me and said, “Come with me to the Bus”

TO THE BUS! This was either a pick up line or I was about to get my own Piggy! YAY! He was cute, but I was hoping for Piggy, or better yet, Kermit!

I followed BlueSuitGuy into the sacred Muppet Bus, he scurried down the aisle and said, “For you, I have something BETTER!” What could be better than a stuffed Kermit?

He held up a Muppet Limited edition Monopoly Game. LIMITED EDITION PEOPLE! I know you are jealous and you should be because it is AWESOME! I Squealed “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” and claped my hands, did the Muppet Dance (flail your arms about and throw your head back) and THANKED HIM profusely! I asked his name and requested I take HIS picture. Liam said, “Of Course! and Blog about it!” So I am…

I brought my swag home to brag to Genetic OffSpring. He was the proper amount of jealous to make me feel good. In the evening we cracked open the game. I know, Limited Edition and now its ruined. But I like this version (v.M.1) way better than standard Monopoly. That is until…

Those rotten kids of mine ran me into the ground and forced bankrupcy. I even had Kermit and Piggy’s Place (Boardwalk and Park Place equivalent) Genetic OffSpring put on his mob hat and used skeamy fingers every time I landed on his Movie Studio.

Once I was finally out of cash and mortgaged EVERYTHING I owned, I said,”well since I lost, I will clean the kitchen.” My EVIL ChatterBox replied with a “Ya you will.”

Hold the phone there Missy!!! What did you just say? Clearly my kids are now dead to me.

Funny thing is, I secretly feel proud of their tycoon and cut throat ways. Genetic OffSpring said, “I’m not here to make friends, its a game.”

Obviously I am the BEST MOM EVER! I have not only raised readers, I have raised Mob Godfathers.



It’s Time To get Things Started, It’s Time to Light the Lights

The time has come for me to put up or shut up.

About what you may ask? I have been thinking about it for quite a while and I smile when I see posts about it. But I have sat silently by to allow others to take the lead. I feel strongly enough to put my support behind this cause and dear readers, I ask YOU to do the same. It needs to be shouted from the roof tops people!

The Muppets Should Host the Oscars!

That’s right, I said it AND support it.

It is a well documented fact here on the Edmonton Tourist what a HUGE Muppet fan I am. Jim Henson being a tremendous influence in my life and all that …yadda yadda yadda…

So here is the moment you’ve all been waiting for…. without further adieu…. The Edmonton Tourist’s Top 11 reason the Muppets should host the Oscars! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay (insert Kermit arms here)

  1. Bill Conti could get the opportunity to work with the orchestra penguins. This would be a major coo for his career. The Muppet Theme Song would be so fantastic as the opening number!
  2. Stadler and Waldorf could give Red Carpet commentary! How great would their brand of humor be talking about the best and worst dressed stars? Who are we kidding, they would only talk about the worst dress stars…
  3. Miss Piggy would finally get her hour in the sun as the hostess. Think of how she would love the glamor of the evening! The gowns the parties! This is right up her alley, a dream come true!
  4. Muppet ensembles singing the Oscar nominated songs. who can forget this:
    The Muppets make ALL music better!
  5. The opening bit in the Oscars where the host – in this case Kermit – stars in funny snippets of the Oscar nominated movies. Kermit would be perfect with the other Muppets causing mayhem behind him!
  6. Pepe the King Prawn could give updates from back stage getting the recognition he finally deserves!
  7. Sweetums could be in charge of security.
  8. Swedish Chef is perfect for Craft Services!
  9. Gonzo and his girls could hand out the trophies!
  10. Who better then Sam the Eagle for the “In Memoriam” Tribute
  11. Having the Muppets host the Oscars would make me smile and in my daughters words “Epic”

Please support the movement and cause! Follow them on Twitter @MuppetOscars and on facebook https://www.facebook.com/MuppetOscars. Shout it from the roof tops and from Sesame Street! I need to see this happen. In the words of the Great Waldorf,

Waldorf: Well, you gotta give them credit… they’re gonna keep on doing it till they get it right.

They will, the Muppets have been practicing their whole lives for a show of this proportion. Let’s work together Muppet Style.

It’s Time to Get Things Started, It’s Time to Light the Lights…

The Muppet Show
Image via Wikipedia

I have come to the conclusion that my life has become a series of Muppet Show moments, and I am Kermit the Frog trying to orchestrate all the zany characters of my life. This morning as I left for work… I need to back up to the night before.

Last night no, I need to back up further. Several nights ago I bought some anti-nausea medication for my upcoming trip. On extended flights I can become quite ill, mostly because of the recycled air in the airplane cabin. The anti-nausea meds work quite well for both Chatter Box and I, and has the added benefit of blissful unconscious sleep. My honey, in his infinite wisdom decided to try an anti-nausea meds last night to see if it would have any adverse effects on him. In the morning, he had errands to run because of the last minute detail planning I have done. We talked about the plans the night before, but before I left for work there was a “WAIT! What do I need to do?”  He made a list the night before but he was very groggy and didn’t seem to understand a thing I was saying.

Years before when we took our eldest child at the ripe old age of 7 months to Australia. This meant 27 hours of airports and airtime. I don’t recommend it with a 7 month old but hind sight is 20/20. I was quite ill on the way down under. For the trip back I decided to take an anti-nausea med in Hawaii for the last leg of the trip. I took it in the hotel. After that I do not remember a thing until my parents picked us up in Edmonton. I do not remember changing planes in Vancouver. Nothing, that part of my history is a total blank. My poor Honey dragged me, 3 pieces of luggage, 2 carry-on, a baby AND me through 3 airports. Needless to say, I was not the favorite person on that trip.

So Karma came to visit me this morning and she wasn’t very kind. I talked to my honey 3 times about the list and left for work, stopping to treat myself to a Cafe Latte. By the time I got to work, I learned that all our money that we had been saving and converting into Euros was ( insert foreboding music here) was GONE! Well, isn’t that just craptastic! The first thing out of his mouth was, where did you put it? Excuse me? I wasn’t planning this trip, yes it was hard for me but I let others take the reins. I listed several possibilities of where the money could be. We have since learned that Honey is a squirrel. Money here, money left in this place, and money other there! Back and forth went text messages and emails and a few phone calls. Work was stressful enough. Clients had called me names, and not very flattering names. So I was dealing with this and putting out fires at home. Happily my partner was back, so we were at full complement. Work moved along at a fairly smooth rate. By lunch time, I had received email from my mother telling me about some details in Europe. She explained things to me in such a way that I needed to reassure her that her bossy daughter would be there soon and together we would rule the world! Well, our portion of it anyways. I explained to her about the Muppet Show Shenanigans that had happened earlier in the morning. I could feel her laugh from around the world. The good news is our money was not lost, squirreled away. All the money is found and orders have been given in regards to packing.

I am feeling better about things because I let Bossy Boots out of the box. I am going to let her come with me, clearly she will be needed. She packed the “Just in Case” bag and is thrilled at the opportunity to go to Europe. Even if it is with the Muppets.

Here are two videos for you to watch while I am gone. Hopefully they will remind you of me. It’s okay if you miss me,because I will miss you too!