I Want a Man Cave

I want a Man Cave.

I don’t think that is asking for too much. For some reason, there is a huge trend towards Men having their OWN space. My question is why? Before we get going, I am adding a disclaimer – Honey does not have one, nor has he ever wistfully suggested he should get himself one. But I think I should have one.

Man Caves are supposed to be where Men hide away in an Ultra Cool room filled with things (like 200 Pez dispensers, or 50 bobble heads) that theirs wives would say “Honey, that just doesn’t go with the decor”, so their stuff ends up in the basement or shed or garage. There is a guy around the corner from me who has a Man Cave in his garage. It consists of a bar, several bar stools, a flat screen TV, and a kick a$$ stereo system. He is out there every Friday night with his buddies hanging out and having fun. Not one female to be seen. She is inside trying to get several kids to bed, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, mopping, scrubbing the bath, and generally working her fingers to the bone. Hardly fair, but she says nothing.

In our house, I must admit, Honey does the majority of the work, especially since I have gone back to school. The Offspring and I have been told that Saturday morning we are cleaning house. That made me chuckle inside, because that is usually my line. He does all the laundry, yard work, vacuuming, dishes and other niggly little jobs. Yet, he never says he wishes for a Man Cave.

I want one. I want a cave with a flat screen TV to watch Hockey games on, 2 barker lounges, bar fridge, fire-place, lap top, a fabulous collection of art, sound proofing and a BIG GIANT PAD LOCK. Sure my Honey does most of the work, and he is an amazing Dad, the fact remains that I am the MOM.

Every Mom reading this knew instantly what I meant. For those of you who are not there yet, or those of you who never will be I shall explain. For Example, Honey and I can be in the same room, and I could be sitting beside him on the couch. The Offspring will come and ask me if they could have a bath, or eat a cookie, or phone a friend, or watch a movie….all perfectly DUMB questions that they are quite capable of deciding for themselves.  I stop what I am doing, look up  “What did you say?”. They mumble “Can I: eat toast, or wear shoes, or ask me why they have a hang nail, or say their brother dragged them across the carpet and gave them a rug burn, do I think the spot on their arm is cancer, or ask what time the Big Bang Theory is on, or ask whats new, if nothing could I take them to Best Buy/Library/Starbucks/Book Store?” I will answer everything with NO – laugh and listen again and maybe say no. Now if I am in the bathroom, napping or up to my elbows in something messy and Honey is home, the Offspring will STILL defer to ME! This annoys me. Why can you not ask your Dad?

This is why I want a Man Mom Cave. All I want is a bit of peace and quiet, or at the very least just PEACE. The Man Mom Cave will have two chairs. One for me, and one for a guest. Let me take a moment to dream for a second…No Really…All I want is a Man Cave.