I am what I need, but I need to apply what I am and other theories that are true

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I have a theory about professions people choose.

I think people go into the career field of their choice because it is what they actually need in their life.

For example: I think Social Workers need a Social Worker, Psychologists need a Psychologist, Teachers need Teachers and Accountants need Accountants.

I am a Planner with mad organization skills. I need a personal planner with mad organizational skills in my own life.

I am busily writing a monologue for a motivational speaking engagement I have coming up. I wrote out my outline on a yellow notepad  you know the kind, they are all glued at the top, the have a left hand margin and Apple used them so frequently they added a yellow notepad to their Notes App.

I can’t find my outline.

Had I been smart like I am for my clients, I would have created a OneNote file for my outline. However, when it comes to me and my needs I tend to be lazy. Now I need to go through the piles of yellow notes that I never throw away and find the outline that I am looking for. I could rewrite a new outline but I know the original had some important points I wanted to bring up, and today they just are not coming to the front of my memory.

I know I am not the only one who does this. My friend works in a position where she needs to be on top of all the important details and provides them at a moments notice. However, when it comes to her life, she throws away the instruction book for her odometer for her bike so she won’t be able to figure out how to work it and needs someone to show her.

I think deep down, we all want to be rescued and taken care of so in our personal life we sabotage ourselves in hopes that someone will come to the rescue. My Dad does it, he can manage a classroom with ease and keep track of 30+ kids on a field trip to Europe and never lose anyone, yet he will lose his keys on a daily basis.

What is it about us that we will subconsciously do this to ourselves? I love to be rescued and taken care of. I tend to be the person who holds it all together, plans out the course of action for events and activities that are important to the people or coworkers in my life, and yet when it comes to stuff I should be doing for myself – I will wing it because I have lost some major important piece that is crucial for completion of the project.

Is it that I just don’t care enough about me and my ‘stuff’ enough to take care of the details like I would for someone else? Or is it that I secretly want someone to care about me enough to look after the details for me. Show me that they care about me in the same way I care for them?

At any rate, perhaps I need to make a stronger effort to put myself first in situations where  I need to have my act together.

And whatdoyouknow?…I found my outline! I placed a sticky tab to the side so I could find it easily. Good for me, apparently I do care after all.

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The Loyalty Card

I learned something about myself today that I long suspected.

I value loyalty.

I love that value in my friends, I appreciate it with aquaintaces, I expect it from family (family does not just mean blood ties). What I am happy about is I know without a shadow of doubt, I am loyal. BUT…..

Did you expect THAT coming? I am loyal to a point. I must respect you, I must share similar values (hopefully the same ones) or the loyalty card just won’t fly. You would know I am loyal to you if the following were to happen:

  1. I invite you to my home. I will not expose my children to people I do not trust. If I trust you, you will find a faithful loyal friend in me.
  2. I will stand between you and someone who is verbally or physically attacking you. This happened with my aunt. My cousin started teasing her/bad-mouthing her to her face. I stepped in and let’s just say, I would defend her to the death.
  3. I will support you in whatever you choose to do. I will share my opinion, but in the end, it is your decision and I support you.

I had a job interview today. I am not positive, but I am fairly certain they will offer me a job. I will decline if they do. I was asked some questions and I found my loyalty to my place of work rise up inside me and I felt I needed to defend the amazing work we do. Quite frankly, we are a leader in our city with the work we do and there are other’s who do not want to collaborate with us. That is fine, but I felt I was being grilled by the SS to give up secrets. Ummm I don’t think so. It was at that moment I knew I valued the support of my Supervisor, Leadership and Executive Director more than I wanted a $22 000 pay increase. The defining moment was knowing I would not have the same supportive team that I have grown to love and respect.

I also learned that I am not willing to sacrifice my goals for money. That is huge. I really respect that in others. I am not willing to give up going to University for a job. That degree will bring in more money one day. Meanwhile I know I am making a difference in lives of the clients I serve and the people I work with. My daughter asked me if I was proud of my decision because she was. Well, that just sealed it. I made a choice that showed my daughter it is WHAT you do with your life that matters not how much you make.