The Learn to Drive Milestone

 

A rite of passage happened yesterday. It was a very exciting moment for me.

My son drove a car for the first time.

This was a big deal. I remember being 16 and my dad took me out in his Blue Dodge Diplomat to the church parking lot. He put the car in park, opened the car door and stepped around to the passenger side. I couldn’t wait to get into the drivers seat! My dad is a teacher by trade profession and is one of the best. He explained in very clear detail, my step by step procedure.

When you put the car in drive, it will move forward, so keep your foot on the brake.

As you slowly release the brake, the car will move forward.

Stomping on the brake will cause me to vomit.

Take your time, we have all the time in the world – we don’t have to rush.

And thus began my first driving lesson 1983 – an era before seatbelts.

 

Last night after dinner, I said to my 16 year old. “are you busy? Can you come out with me for a bit?”

He looked at me suspiciously, assessed the situation and agreed. I drove out of the city and to a country school about 10 minutes from my home. I figured this would be a good spot with no pedestrian or motor traffic. He looked at me and said, “Either this is a driving lesson or you are about to murder me and dump my body.”

Me-“Correct, I have a baseball bat in the trunk and a carpet to roll you up in.”

He laughed and climbed out of the car, went around to the driver’s side and waited until i was in the passenger seat before he got in. The first thing he did was put on his seat belt and complain about how weird it felt crossing over the other side of his body. I asked how he felt, the reply was “Nervous and a bit scared.”

Me- “We won’t be going of 10km and there will be no reversing the car today. Just slow on the straight away and turns.”

I gave him the same instructions my dad gave me. Calm and quiet, full of confidence I never felt. I forgot to mention the part about stomping on the brake will induce vomiting. Sure enough, I was thankful for the seatbelt as he tested the brakes. He drove in circles for about a half hour. He tried stopping various times and got the hang of not smashing my face into glass. He actually was a quick study. He pulled up to the fence and I inquired as to how he planned on moving the car since I said no reversing. He said he could either get out and have me do it, or he give it a try himself. I gave him the step by step instructions for reversing, this included how you turn the wheel in the opposite direction of where you want to go. I then heard the Doc Hudson reference from him. The quote from the movie

I’ll put it simple: if you’re going hard enough left, you’ll find yourself turning right.

Ummmm nooooooooooooo. But secretly was happy he used a Pixar reference. When he didn’t shoulder check I made splat sounds and told him that was puppies and babies he ran over. He laughed and put the car back up against the fence and did it again. This time he shoulder checked. About 10 more minutes, and I directed him to park near the gate. We traded places and I asked him how he felt now. His reply was one of confidence. “I don’t feel scared anymore. Just nervous because there is so much to remember.”

I drove down the country road and into Sherwood Park. I found the Dairy Queen where we planned to celebrate. He asked if this was the one his Grandpa took me too. “Nope, that one is an insurance company now”. We had blizzards to celebrate. He told me he hated the licence plate cover on my car. It says “I’d rather by in Walt Disney World.” I told him I hated the Datsun B210 I had to drive when I was a kid.

You never get to drive the cool car when you are young because it is too expensive. Once you can afford it, you look like a ridiculous old dude trying to recapture his youth. He laughed and agreed that bald guys are hilarious in a convertible. I rest my case. I reminded him to look at the cars the high school kids drive – if they are lucky. He laughed and said, “you’re right, they are all beaters or mommy vehicles.”

Now my boy is motivated to get a job. Insurance is expensive, now that he has a glimpse of the freedom of the future.

 

When in Doubt, Hang on Tight!

Have you ever driven you vehicle and came across a sign that made you question why you were there or what the sign meant in the first place? I did, the entire time we were in Germany. I am not talking about the language. For some unknown reason, I can read German and pick out enough words to figure out the meaning. I was either a reader of German Literature in another life, or I am a genius. I am going with genius.

After the Muppets had their fill of meatballs from Ikea, we loaded back into the Caravan and headed for the Rhineland in Germany. My Dad handed Honey the keys and said “you drive for a while”. WOW! This meant I got a break from boomerang fish, singing chickens, and Fozzy’s knock knock jokes because I could Navigate! Remember I had packed my “just in case” case before I left. In it was our trusted GPS Phoebe. We call her Phoebs for short. She isn’t too bright, she likes to think she is in control, she prefers the Autobahn and she talks too much, but mostly I liked her company and was very happy she joined us on the trip.

Let it be known I prefer country roads. It gives me a better sense of the country of origin’s culture. Motorways and Cities seem to be the same all over the world, fast, large and loud. Apparently Phoebe likes fast. She must have been in consultations with my mom earlier in the day. Mom and informed us over breakfast that this was to be a driving day. Great! I couldn’t wait to get to Germany! The route Phoebe took us on was straight and fast. But the signs were puzzling. Dad had given us some advice before his nap, he said “if you see a windsock sign, whatever you do, HANG ON TIGHT!” Sure, sure dad…whatever you say. How bad could it be? We weren’t near the Alps, we weren’t very high up. No problem, right? HA! We came to a bridge on the Autobahn that was so high up, I could not see the ground below. It span was wide and there were windscreens on the bridge itself. Phoebe was having a great time going as fast as possible, while Honey and I said, “Zoinks Scoob!” (not really but this is a family blog). We held on for dear life! Obviously we made it safely to the other side, but it was nerve racking and a very exciting! I am a prairie girl from Canada, this kind of speed and height is just not a common occurrence!

Phoebe brought us straight to Baden-Baden, showing us a few signs that were new to us:

As we were driving lightning fast down the Autobahn, we thought we were travelling in circles because all roads lead to Ausfahrt.

Of course we figured out that meant EXIT! So maybe I wasn’t a genius after all, but now I know more today then I did yesterday!