The Tale of the Ninja Attack

 

You heard correctly, I was ambushed by a ninja – yet live to tell the tale. I was lounging on my deck reading something intellectually stimulating like Diane Chamberlain, when the sky began to darken  and my eReader started to get wet. I felt extreme disappointment because this time was specifically put aside for reading outside. Little did I know, it was all part of the plan.

 

A few days before, Edmonton suffered through an incredible storm that brought hail that resembled a snow storm and rain drops that were 2cm in diameter. My furniture had just completely dried and I was not willing to allow my sofa cushions to relive a torrential downpour twice in one week. So I began the unpleasant task of bringing the cushions into my living room when I was attacked.

 

I am positive it was a ninja attack because it came out of no where. I nearly completed my job when it happened. I was walking through my wooden screen door. You know the kind, they squeak when you open it, it doesn’t stay open by itself because of the big spring on it and it makes a loud smack as it shuts. At this point it all becomes a blur because it happened so fast.

 

I remember being hit in the face with something sharp and all I could see was the red cushion coming at me in an attempt to smother my screams.

étoile ninja = shaken Español: Los shuriken o ...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As quickly as it happened, it ended. I heard no one. I saw no one. Yet I KNOW someone just tried to kill me. My own stealthy moves had me on high alert. I practice Ninja Yoga with some regularity so I am confident in my stealth skills. With lightning agility, I quickly moved into the living room before the monsoon hit. I assessed the damage and scanned the room for a witness of a predator. I found neither.

 

I let my fingers scan the flesh on my face and discovered a slight scratch. Nothing serious, I had experienced greater boughts of pain before, I could easily let this slide.

 

The rain ended as quickly as it began and I moved the cushions back out to the deck and resumed my reading. What is odd about this situation is every day since the scratch on my face has become a deeper red – it is as if I had been poisoned by a Hira-Shuriken – for those of you not familiar with ninja lingo, you civilians refer to it as a “Ninja Star” or “Throwing Star”. Enemies will often lace their hira-shuriken with poison or other bacteria that would cause an infection that could lead to death.

 

I am stealthy enough to have had the Hira-Shuriken miss my eyes, yet I was unable to avoid complete collision because let’s be honest here, I am not a professional ninja, I am just a ninja enthusiast. I use those skills to enhance my superhero capabilities. I am not perfect.

 

The result is this:

 

See how it narrowly missed my eye? That is all because of skill on my part that I did not go blind.

 

 

The real problem is, I am tired of telling people I was attacked by a Ninja. Everyone is always asking me what happened. So I’ve started saying “pillow fight” for several reasons:

 

  1. I need to keep my superpowers on the down-low for obvious reasons. I need to be able to take on an opponent and take them by surprise. The ninja incident was a good reminder of that.
  2. Being a Superhero is a VOLUNTEER position people! I can’t have it get out to too many people or I will never earn a paycheck. Only the lucky superheros get on with big government agencies. The rest of us do it out of love – but love don’t pay the rent!
  3. The more my name becomes recognizable, the more famous I become and therefore my children, family and friends will become targets. They always hurt the ones you love the most.

Meanwhile, I need to find an antidote or by a tube of polysporin. No mom I did not go to the doctor and yes my shots are up to date, you don’t need to call. The time for resting is over – we must be vigilant.

 

The good news? I am going to have a kick-ass scar – eat your heart out Black Widow.

 

 

 

Fifty Fifty Me: The Shadow Wife

So I missed a week of 50/50 me. Reading The Management of Nonprofit and Charitable Organizations in Canada by Vic Murray and Effectively Managing Human Services Organizations by Ralph Brody apparently don’t count. I don’t find it dry reading, I quite enjoy it and find it enlightening. However, it doesn’t fit the criteria for the challenge. First of all, you need to read it cover to cover – who does that with text books? Secondly, these aren’t the books I read for fun. They are work. Fun is different. Although making the effort to expand my genre exploration hasn’t always been fun. Science Fiction isn’t very fun for me, nor is fantasy. I need to put effort into it so I am able to follow the story line. My preference is the ability to be LOST in a book. When I say LOST, I mean the story sweeps me away and I can’t wait to spend time with the characters. I do not mean LOST as in “WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?”Hello Lord of the Rings…

The book I read this week brought me back to my favorite genre. I love family relationship stories. I love a strong female lead. I love reading about places with such detail that I figure I could go there on vacation and find my way around.

I watched 6 movies over the past 2 weeks… I know 6!!! When I was suppose to be sleeping or writing papers. I no longer watch TV, I just don’t have the attention span for interest right now. But a movie? Now that is something I like to get lost in. But enough with the musings… let’s get on with it shall we?

The Book

The Shadow Wife by Diane Chamberlain was gobbled up by me in a couple of days. I read it over lunch at work and every spare moment at home. I was reading reviews on Goodreads by my friends and discovered this author through them. They love her…I can see why. This book was about two main characters intertwined through separate stories. They meet and their story connects. I became very involved in one story, then it stopped and started with the second character’s story. It would frustrate me because I never wanted to end and pick up the next story line. This is common for the books I prefer to read. Maeve Binchy is a master at it character development. I devour strong character building.

This story began with The lead’s parents in a commune in Big Sur. It reminded at first of a Barbara Delinsky novel called the Coast Road (also a good read). I like the whole hippy concept except the filth part, and the camping life part, and the lack of wealth part…okay in THEORY I like hippies, but I like to read about them and have coffee with them and learn about their life. I do not wish to be a hippy. Been there, done that to the best of my ability. I can peel logs, can food, grow food, identify edible plants in the wild, fish, and build a fire without the use of paper or fire starter. Trust me, I’d rather read about these adventures the relive them myself.

As this baby of the hippies grew up, her life changed into what I can identify with professionally. There was a twist at the end that blew my head off. The entire time I was reading this book I was thinking I like this book a lot, not sure I love it. By the end, with me not seeing the twist coming, I LOVED this book! I knew this writer always places twists into her books but there was no hint of it in this. I loved that – and now have ruined it for everyone because I am awesome like that.

When I read the twist, I was at work in the lunch room and yelled out “NO WAY!” That to me is the sign of a fun read. What more can you ask for? Surprise, independent strong females, family legacy, and beautiful scenery? Great summertime read!

This week  am tackling Oprah’s new book club – that’s right people she is back with an on-line book club! Wild by Cheryl Strayed. This book is uncomfortable for me at times. It is very relevant to me, but I am enjoying it immensely! I will let you know how it goes. This book places me halfway to the challenge of 50 books in a year. YAY! I have loved this challenge! It has brough me out of my comfort zone and into books I love. I never would have read Stephen King, The Room, or a multitude of other genres and storylines that have scared me in the past.

The Movie

I watched these movies over the past two weeks :

  1. Avengers
  2. Factory Girl
  3. Being Elmo
  4. Every Little Step
  5. Schindler’s List
  6. If Lucy Fell

Factory Girl was about Andy Warhol’s iconic Factory girl and the person she was in real life. All this movie did for me was make me see what a wingnut Warhol was and wondered how he paid for things. I love his art, but wow…

If Lucy Fell was an old school Sarah Jessica Parker movie – Boring….

Every little Step was a documentary of  the Chorus Line revival. I loved this. Pain, rejection, excitement all rolled into one. I have always fantasized about being on Broadway but I don’t have the strength it takes (nor the talent) to face rejection on a daily basis. Wow these people are amazing!

Being Elmo… Behind the scenes of being a Muppeteer? Are you freaking kidding me??? THIS WAS AMAZING and I cried. I loved seeing the Jim Henson Empire. I will watch this documentary over and over.

Schindler’s list. I was the only person left in the world who hadn’t seen this. It is now part of the Grade 12 curriculum in Alberta’s High Schools. Wow what a powerful movie. I found it interesting how he made enough money to save these people and then just before the war ended, so did the money. Divine intervention obviously played a hand.  4000 Jews live in Poland now, but 4 generations of Schindler’s Jews make up over 6500. Doing the right thing is never easy, but so important. If you haven’t watched this – you must. AND I can cross it off my 100 AFI list!

Then my favorite movie of the year. It is no surprise people. you all know how much I love superheroes and fancy myself as one. The Avengers was FREAKING AWESOME! Is it out on Blu-ray yet? I want it for Christmas Santa!! Please do yourself a favor, watch all the other movies first. This will help with the maximized enjoyment of the Avenger movie. Stan Lee I heart you.

This week movies? I have no idea. I have watched 42 on the year. I am in the mood for Brave but that isn’t until the 22. I want to see something that will make me laugh. Life has been hard this week, so laughter is in order!

Suggestions?