The Learn to Drive Milestone

 

A rite of passage happened yesterday. It was a very exciting moment for me.

My son drove a car for the first time.

This was a big deal. I remember being 16 and my dad took me out in his Blue Dodge Diplomat to the church parking lot. He put the car in park, opened the car door and stepped around to the passenger side. I couldn’t wait to get into the drivers seat! My dad is a teacher by trade profession and is one of the best. He explained in very clear detail, my step by step procedure.

When you put the car in drive, it will move forward, so keep your foot on the brake.

As you slowly release the brake, the car will move forward.

Stomping on the brake will cause me to vomit.

Take your time, we have all the time in the world – we don’t have to rush.

And thus began my first driving lesson 1983 – an era before seatbelts.

 

Last night after dinner, I said to my 16 year old. “are you busy? Can you come out with me for a bit?”

He looked at me suspiciously, assessed the situation and agreed. I drove out of the city and to a country school about 10 minutes from my home. I figured this would be a good spot with no pedestrian or motor traffic. He looked at me and said, “Either this is a driving lesson or you are about to murder me and dump my body.”

Me-“Correct, I have a baseball bat in the trunk and a carpet to roll you up in.”

He laughed and climbed out of the car, went around to the driver’s side and waited until i was in the passenger seat before he got in. The first thing he did was put on his seat belt and complain about how weird it felt crossing over the other side of his body. I asked how he felt, the reply was “Nervous and a bit scared.”

Me- “We won’t be going of 10km and there will be no reversing the car today. Just slow on the straight away and turns.”

I gave him the same instructions my dad gave me. Calm and quiet, full of confidence I never felt. I forgot to mention the part about stomping on the brake will induce vomiting. Sure enough, I was thankful for the seatbelt as he tested the brakes. He drove in circles for about a half hour. He tried stopping various times and got the hang of not smashing my face into glass. He actually was a quick study. He pulled up to the fence and I inquired as to how he planned on moving the car since I said no reversing. He said he could either get out and have me do it, or he give it a try himself. I gave him the step by step instructions for reversing, this included how you turn the wheel in the opposite direction of where you want to go. I then heard the Doc Hudson reference from him. The quote from the movie

I’ll put it simple: if you’re going hard enough left, you’ll find yourself turning right.

Ummmm nooooooooooooo. But secretly was happy he used a Pixar reference. When he didn’t shoulder check I made splat sounds and told him that was puppies and babies he ran over. He laughed and put the car back up against the fence and did it again. This time he shoulder checked. About 10 more minutes, and I directed him to park near the gate. We traded places and I asked him how he felt now. His reply was one of confidence. “I don’t feel scared anymore. Just nervous because there is so much to remember.”

I drove down the country road and into Sherwood Park. I found the Dairy Queen where we planned to celebrate. He asked if this was the one his Grandpa took me too. “Nope, that one is an insurance company now”. We had blizzards to celebrate. He told me he hated the licence plate cover on my car. It says “I’d rather by in Walt Disney World.” I told him I hated the Datsun B210 I had to drive when I was a kid.

You never get to drive the cool car when you are young because it is too expensive. Once you can afford it, you look like a ridiculous old dude trying to recapture his youth. He laughed and agreed that bald guys are hilarious in a convertible. I rest my case. I reminded him to look at the cars the high school kids drive – if they are lucky. He laughed and said, “you’re right, they are all beaters or mommy vehicles.”

Now my boy is motivated to get a job. Insurance is expensive, now that he has a glimpse of the freedom of the future.

 

Cruising with a Side of Sophistication

Way back in the early 80’s when I had big hair, a tail (omg I know…) tight jeans and leg warmers…again – I know…   I would cruise for fun. Living in Sherwood Park – the ‘burb of Edmonton – I can tell you there was not much to do if you didn’t bowl or curl. I did neither unless it was for PhysEd. My friends and I walked endlessly around Sherwood Park. I have never been as fit since those days.

For curiosity sake, I went to map my runs and plotted out our typical route. On an average day we would log 11km. (  <—- see that number? weird isn’t it?) 11km would take us past all the houses that held boys in it that we were hoping to glimpse at. Of course we would DIE if we actually saw or talked to one of these boys. We were much more comfortable talking to strange guys. Not that they were strange and creepy…okay Bob was, but the rest were okay! This is what we did without wheels. No movies, no job, swimming would ruin our hair and makeup and god forbid someone would see us in our bathing suits! OH to look that fabulous now.

Then one day, my sister (ok, she isn’t really MY sister, she is my mom’s sister but we were closer in age and in fact still extremely close) bought a Gold Pontiac Firebird. It was smokin’! She would let us pile in and cruise around. ACTUAL CRUISING! We thought we were all that and more…you know what I mean…

The tunes were cranked, Loverboy Get Lucky blasting out the windows and we would just smile at the boys….. ahhhh good times, good times…

Since my cruising days are over, hard to look cool in a Kia Rondo – Mom car ( in my defense I need the leg and head room for the boy – he is tall and so are his friends and grocery room – teen boys are EATING MACHINES) I have resigned myself to just looking at cars.

I love an Aston Lola, Jag, Beemer or Mercedes. I’m not fussy. I think muscle cars are for middle age men. Women like me need elegance and sophistication. Something that makes my hair and nails look good. Something that shows off my MKors as I slide my legs out of the car. Something that says “she has it all going on”. Kia Rondo says “mom”.

As luck would have it, I was at the Canada Day family festivities yesterday when the chicken needed to be picked up. We have food catered because we are busy people and do not want to spend the day slaving away in the kitchen on our day off – if we had a day off. Lots of us worked on Canada Day. My Sister – who is really my Aunt – T is what I always called her…always. T said to her hubs “take me to pick up the chicken in the Mercedes” pppppppppppprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

She said Mercedes. T’s brand new car. I could smell the newness from the living room. I said, I’ll go with you. So we grabbed the keys and went.

She showed me all the luciousness outside and inside and all the bits and bobs it can do. She hasn’t figured it all out yet but who cares. The important thing was we had a good hair day going on so we would look FAB.

Proof we were in the car. This thing was awesome. It had 2 sunroofs – front and back. Warning lights to let you know if you are too close to the car in front. Camera and Video screen to see what behind you  – nothing was see?

We took a “wrong turn” and had to go the long way to pick up the food… how disappointing. I checked my self out in every mirror to see how I looked driving in a Mercedes. I looked FABULOUS! I must get myself one. Now before that happens, I need to either stop working in non profit OR Tell George to hurry up and make an honest woman out of me. Stupid Future ex husbands…

Here is the slide show of this cars awesomeness – your welcome.

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