Question 2 of 52

How to Encourage: Ronit's List of Compliments | Family Matters

What was the best compliment you ever received?

Like many people, accepting compliments is a tough job for me. So many people I know brush them away instead of embracing them. I was no exception. Then somewhere along the way I started saying ‘Thank you’. People who gave them felt good for giving it and I began to believe what these people were saying.

I hear ‘you are so creative’ a lot. Thank you, creativity is my bread and butter. One time, a man named Tiger told me my hair was beautiful and he asked if he could touch it. I am not going to lie, I swooned. But that wasn’t even the greatest compliment. I value brains. I like being smart. When I was diagnosed with a brain tumor (acoustic neuroma) I was petrified that I would lose what I perceive as my greatest asset, my critical thinking ability.

Years ago I was in a meeting with some friends and I came up with an idea. I was told I was ‘bloody brilliant’. I held this close to me. I don’t hear it often but when I hear ‘you are clever or smart’ something happens to me. It elevates my soul. I even get a little cocky (not cool – it can happen to the best of us). Hearing a compliment like that did something to me. I wanted to pay it forward. Now I make a solid effort to compliment and elevate people around me. I tend to focus on women because they hear superficial compliments all the time like ‘you are beautiful or pretty or that dress looks good on you’ or worse ‘you look like you lost weight’ (look, all weight related compliments are actually fat shaming – and fuck you- no one wants to hear that if they are dealing with an eating disorder so just stop it. It isn’t a compliment). We all know those ‘pretty’ compliments don’t mean anything. Well, not to me. I try to elevate others by complimenting them on problem solving, or creative solutions or even for being funny. A genuine compliment does something special to people. I like the way it makes me feel – so why shouldn’t I share that feeling?

Tell me the best compliment you ever received and stay healthy friends!

52 Questions to get to know yourself better

Questions are the Answer - Reformed Journal: The Twelve

Good bye 2020. Hello 2021.

2020 taught me a lot of things. I upped my baking skills to a level I never thought could exist for me. I learned that being an introvert was lucky because my life didn’t change a whole lot with isolation and lockdowns. I missed traveling and exploring my city, province and country. I got to know myself better by the abundance of alone time.

But I still want more.

This has been an ongoing theme since I turned 40. There has to be more than this. When I feel this way, I know its time for more introspective work. I had been thinking about this for a while. What do I need to do to understand myself better or to find out what I want to do with the next half of my life. I need change.

I found a list of questions to ask yourself. This set of questions is meant for kids to develop a stronger sense of self and a positive self-esteem. I read through them and you know what? I think I could benefit from these questions too. I thought about answering a question each week but if I am doing it then there might be one or two people out there who would like to ask themselves the questions too. Each Wednesday I will post a question and lets see where this will take us shall we? Hopefully by the end of 2021, we will all have the new vaccine and life can resemble something a little bit different from 2020.

Maybe we can discuss what we learn about ourselves. I hope you join me next week. Get yourself a journal and a pen or pencil. I image we will know ourselves a whole lot better this time next year.

Stay healthy friends and Happy New Year.