I have to admit I am a ‘This is Us” fan. I love everything about it except Kate. I don’t think Kate is written well. I understand she is based on the writer’s sister but its evident to me that she isn’t written by a person who is obese. At the very least, this character is written in a way that does not reflect any obese people I know nor does it reflect myself. I can relate to Beth. Beth and Randall are so normal to me. I am Beth, and I completely understand her life aside from the wealthy part. But I aspire to be wealthy, so that’s a start.
Relating to people and characters in books or on the screen is important to me. I rarely can see myself in others. It makes me sound like a weirdo. I have a hunch that everyone feels the same as me – unrelatable. I can be empathetic and find small pieces of sameness. For example, The Baker’s Secret’s main character Emmanuelle takes care of everyone. She does this until she collapsed. I get that. I do that. I did that. I learned from that experience. Boundaries are essential, and I am learning to set them.
To be understood is an empowering feeling. Women are banding together to lift each other up and support each other. Well, sometimes. I am mostly surrounded by women who support each other. I am tired of those women who don’t help. Who use hate and anger as a weapon to hurt and maim people who could be supportive if they let them try. I am choosing to be empowered.
To further my empowerment, I have begun the process of finding my natural hair colour. Apparently, it is now silver on top and grey in the back. My daughter says I am sporting a Cruella Deville look with brown ombre at the ends of my hair. My stylist is assisting me with my transition. Five blonde foils to reduce the colour block stripe. She thinks by April I will be entirely natural. I was inspired by was a female colleague at work. She is grey. It is beautiful. She is brilliant. Her brilliance is not affected by the colour of her hair. I spoke with her on how she transitioned. I am glad I did. It’s my turn. I made this decision for many reasons:
- A good haircut gives me confidence. I feel good about myself. Colour is a hassle, and I no longer want to feel hassled or resentful for giving so much of my day to the process. I want my time to be spent on fun things.
- With age comes wisdom. I am wiser than I was when I was 21. I had married a guy for the wrong reasons, and not one of those reasons was for me. They were all for someone else. My hair colour was a luscious brown, and I had a great figure. Did I appreciate any of that? Nope. I was just focused on doing what everyone wanted from me. I am 51, and today I am myself. Doing my thing, being kind to others and living my best life.
- What I look like has nothing to do with my ability. I am good at my job. I am a loyal friend. I am kind and will always fight for the underdog. I am compassionate and respectful. My hair colour does not influence those qualities, ever.
- I will save $150 every six weeks. Saving $1200 a year is something I can get behind. What would you do with an extra $150? I am going to travel more and fret less.
- My health makes me conscious of what I put into my body. I am now aware of what I put on my body. Harsh chemicals are not making me feel better. The things people do for vanity is strange. My Great Grandma never coloured her hair. It was white as snow. Did it change the way I felt about her? No. She was soft and smelled like Pears soap. She was brilliant and resourceful. I loved all those things about her. My hair is beginning to look like hers. If people think of me in the same light as they thought of her, I should be so lucky!
Want a sneak peek at my new hair? It looks blonde but is mostly platinum. This is me. No makeup and greying hair. Does it change anything? Yes and no. It changes me. I am not trying to be something I am not because no one cares anyway. I am embracing me because I like being me. If we all be ourselves and worry less about what other’s think, it might be a better place to live.