Have you ever?
Yes or No?
What the freak are you talking about? Well… I spent my day chilling at Teachers Convention. This was the first time in Years that I have come away with thoughts that apply to me personally. Often it is stuff that I need to adapt for me or my classroom. Today the underlying message was values and what do YOU value. When it boils down to it, I value Trust, Kindness and Empathy. The interesting thing about these values is I have to compromise them often. One wouldn’t think so, but how I see Trust, Kindness and Empathy is not the same way others see it. Just like when I think of positive selftalk – other people think they are being positive…but it’s not the same to me.
One of these sessions was a slide show presentation with Pink’s Glitter in the Air playing in the background. I had never really stop to think about the lyrics until I saw pictures to go with each line. This gave me pause and nearly moved me to tears. Here I had spent a large part of my day distracting my thoughts by saying “Cancel that” in my head. When I say stuff in my head people can’t hear me…often. Where were my thoughts? Cayman Islands. Why? Lots of reasons and most of them you can guess. I tried to be present and by saying “Cancel That” to my thoughts, it became easier to focus. Listening to the lyrics made me think about what I had done or not done with my life. It made me think about compromising my values. Trust, Kindness and Empathy. Trust is one I have the hardest time adhering to. Trust and Honesty are close cousins. Honesty is harder for me than Trust. Lets be frank, everyone lies. Honesty is hard. These lyrics made look closely at my values. It made me think about wanting a Mulligan.
Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Yes
Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air? I had to think about it but yes!
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don’t care? Not until recently, now I can say yes!
Have you hated yourself for staring at the phone? You betcha!
Have you ever been touched so gently that you had to cry? Yes, even thinking about it still makes me cry.
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside? Yes…did I regret it? Never.
Have you ever wished for an endless night? Yes…did it happen? Of course not…I still think about that night and still wish it lasted forever.
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself, Will it ever get better than tonight?
There came a point where I stopped asking and wishing. How would you answer these questions? Maybe I shouldn’t stop asking and wishing or maybe I need to act. At any rate I need to ask myself Will it get better than tonight? Hmmm….if everyone is searching for that elusive happiness how do you know you have it when you find it? It was suggested today that happiness is a series of benchmarks along the way. I have had quite a few happy moments. Although it’s been a while since I have had one. I miss them.
I am grateful for what I have. I am smart about the choices I am making. Yet I still feel like I am missing that special something. That magic formula that says DING! Now you can be happy! Intellectually, I know that isn’t possible. Today was a good start. I see the goal, now I need to achieve it with many little steps along the way. Just to figure out how…
- Glitter in the Air… (sagacious1nuts9adroit95.wordpress.com)