I have been inundated with texts and emails asking what tattoo I am getting after everyone read yesterday’s post. For the record, I didn’t say I was getting one, I said I was THINKING about getting one. I must admit, I am thinking seriously about it.
I received this text from my sister today:
Sister: So my computer choked half way through your blog. What tattoo did you get and where?
Me: HaHa, I didn’t! I’m thinking about birds in flight on my wrist. Tiny ones. 3 with different wing patterns.
Sister: Oooooooooo I want a wrought Iron window with a vine on my shoulder blade, but I think I want to wait till I get married! LOLOLOL! I don’t want tatts in my wedding dress.
*Extra Text between us not important to the story…
Me: The pic of what I want is on my blog or on my pinterest board.
Sister: I was wondering what that was! Out of context it looooooked like staples (like stitches) random in dead skin. It was barfy…then I got it…birds!!
Sister: You’re Welcome 😀
Wow, so the tattoo I want is “barfy” to my sister. Nice…. So let me explain the meaning behind what I want, along with a picture.
Those birds are the actual size of what I want. Birds in flight… Why you ask? What is the significance? Simple. Fear has flown away. I no longer fear things in an irrational way. I want birds because my fear of birds is well known in MANY circles.
Several years ago when I taught with Farren Square, we had The Little Critters Program come into our Classroom. Better known as The Traveling Zoo. They come into the classroom every year and for those of you in Edmonton who have never seen this program, let me just say, it is FANTASTIC! I like it better than going to the zoo. Anyways…That particular year, the zoo keeper brough a chicken into the classroom. Actually a hen. It was very cool because not only did it poop for all to see, it also laid an egg! After the egg popped out, the chicken walked over to me and stared me down with it’s little beady chicken eyes. My blood started pumping in my ears and my heart was racing. I was having a cold sweat. I tried my best not to show fear in front of my students and Farren Square laughed her head off. Nice….. What am I afraid of? Being pecked I think, but the eyes are creepy too. I actually do not know what my big fear is with birds – not just chickens – but terror over comes me. It is irrational.
Last summer I was on my patio laying on my lounger, reading a book. A baby bird – a swallow chick if you must know – hopped over to me and stared me down. I of course screamed because I was alone. I was too terrified to shoo it away. I couldn’t even get up and run to the door. Terror over came me. Then I remembered the cognitive behaviour therapy I took that spring. I used it, calmed myself down, and ignored the baby bird. I took several deep breaths and lived another day! In fact, I made myself approach birds…I still feel fear, but not terror. I am making progress.
So if I am not cured of bird fear, then why the birds? To me the birds represent progress, no fear, goal setting and change. As they fly away on my wrist, I would be reminded of the hard work and challenges I have overcome to get to this point in time. I am proud of the changes I have made in my life. I have no fear when it comes to trying new things, or challenging things. My partner looked at a project that I am working on for my University Class this term. She asked me if I am excited about it. Hmmm… my initial response was no. It is no because I look at it as just another thing I need to complete and complete well. I have no fear about it. I just see hard work ahead. There was a time when I would be too intimidated to proceed and would have not done it.
I never want to forget what it took to get to this point in my life. I think looking at something inspirational on my wrist would help with that. Of course, it could be jewelry or something similar…but there is something about a tattoo that attracts me. I think I am old enough for it not to be considered a whim. We shall see. I will give it serious thought, but so far it feels right.