Why Mark Twain, Why?

That Mark Twain was such a smarty pants.

I don’t remember the day I was born, nor do I wish to recall it. I suspect it was painful and cold. I’m sure there was screaming and crying going on, I also am willing to be it was the greatest day of my parents life. Then it went down hill from there because the brother and sister came along shortly there after…I kid…or do I?

Apparently, according to Mark Twain who was indeed a smarty pants, says “The day I find out why”. I’m sure that WILL be a great day. The corny answer is “the day my children were born” Well the jury is still out. I have my fingers crossed hoping for greatness from both of them. You know the kind I am talking about, awards and accolades. I want an Academy Award speech and a Nobel Prize speech thanking me for being the BEST MOM EVER! Then when I die I can have a sit down with Mark and say he was right. The day I found out why I was born was truly the most important day. The day I gave my kids to the world… Sure… no, that can’t be the WHY day.

The obvious answer is my Dad convinced my Mom they should …you know… *wink wink*. That would be WHY I am here. But something tells me, Mark was being philosophical about the whole Why am I here thing.

So let’s look at “Great Moments in Ed’s Life” Shall we?

1. The day I learned to fly Danger Girl Style. That WAS a great day. I remember it well. I was wearing wellies and my cape. Tanya and I climbed to the top of the shed and sat on the roof waving to the neighbors. I am not sure if I had parents in those days. I can’t recall them ever telling me to get off the shed. I do remember Tanya’s dad waving at us from his bedroom window. She yelled “Daddy Daddy Watch me!” Then she jumped. I screamed “AHHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!” and immediately jumped after her because she was laying on the ground crying and needed my help. I landed on her – being the awesome super hero I was – and her Dad came running out to carry her home. He wouldn’t let me come home with her. So I went inside and called her. No answer, where could they be? I promptly forgot about her and went back to the shed, climbed up and jumped again. Flying was awesome. If I had a cell phone then, I would have texted her a picture of me flying and telling her how awesome I am. Now THAT was a great day, but I am pretty sure that wasn’t what Mark Twain was talking about.

Fast forward to the next great moment of my life…

2. The day my boyfriend sat in my brother’s stroller. Sigh…I was 6 and very mature for my age. I had clown hair gorgeous chestnut curly locks that fell in ringlets around my ears…(all lies, clown hair that did it’s own thing and God Forbid I should try to comb it). I was standing at the corner of Main Street USA and the Emporium. That’s right, it was my first trip to Disneyland. There sauntered Robin Hood, my boy friend. The thief from my dreams and Disney’s latest movie. Where my brother was, I have no idea, but Robin of the Hood sat down in my brothers stroller and my heart skipped 3 beats that day. Years later when I took my kids for the first time, I saw Robin once again. This time he was in a parade. Our eyes locked in remembrance of another time…sigh….my heart skipped another beat. As romantic as that moment was, it does not define me or answer Why.

Then there was the time that I figured out I could think for myself… THAT was a great moment.

3. The year was…I have no idea without doing the math…I was in Grade 8. It was my graduation. My classmates and I were moving up to the High School the following year and we were having a little shindig or hootenanny if you will, in the school gymnasium. My parents left ( we lived 3 houses down the street) and told me to come home when I was ready…let’s clarify that shall we, they said READY. So, after the dance I invited my girlfriend to stay over night. we walked the 5 blocks to her house to get her jammies etc, then started to walk back to my house. It was dark, which means it had to be midnight because it was June. In June around these parts (Edmonton) the sun does not set until 11:00 PM …I was 12 – not yet 13. I would be 13 2 months later. As I was saying… we started walking back to my house when a car started slowing down and pulled up beside us. I had never remember being so scared in my entire life. The window rolled down and it was my dad. Not a word was spoken so I knew I was in a huge pile of trouble. The less dad says, the more irate he is. He drove my friend to her door and said good night. I wailed about her sleeping over…it was no use. I was being ignored as he said good night to my friend. Then we drove home in silence. I went to my room and changed for bed, then my mom called me into their room. I walked sheepishly and my dad laid there in the dark and said “You are grounded for life”. I caught my breath and knew not to saying anything more….Yes I am still grounded. But that is not why I was born, It may FEEL like I was put on Earth to torment you Dad…but I am sure here is a higher purpose.

4. A bunch of stuff happened between grade 8 and my 43rd birthday… but we can talk about that another day.

5. My 43rd birthday, August 16th 2010. I woke up and thought to myself “Why Mark Twain Why?” I still hadn’t figured it out yet. I started this Edmonton Tourist Quest in an effort to figure it out. I went back to University, I lost a pile of weight, I became fit, I travelled solo, I joined the Art Gallery, I started writing, I walked a half marathon, I got good hair, I bought red gloves…all in an effort to find out why I was born and what does it all mean.

I learned Dorothy Gale was right. I was somewhere inside waiting to come out kickass red shoes are awesome. Really – I haven’t found it yet, but I am close I can feel it. I suspect it has to do with the people I meet in life and how my actions affect them. I also suspect WHY is different for everyone. I can stand back and look at everyone else’s Why and know it instantly. I can’t tell them because they won’t believe me, they can’t see it yet. I can’t see my Why yet, I am sure I will know when I do. Then Mark and I can have a sit down over a scotch and a cigar and discuss our Why’s.

In the mean time, I need me some kickass red shoes.

14 thoughts on “Why Mark Twain, Why?

  1. It could very well be a right of passing as a child. I too, took my mom’s best towel, wrapped it around my neck, and to the utter glee of my friends, jumped off the roof of my fathers house.

    Almost broke my ankles. So much for the neighborhood “Superman.”

    In the movie City Slickers, Billy Crystal looks at the other actor and says … “What was the best day of your life, and the worst day of your life?”

    Memorable … something to stop and consider this day, I will have to get back to you.


    1. I think it is the right of passing for adventurous children. The kind of kids that give you a head ache because they are non conformists. These are always my favourite students!
      Have a lovely day strolling down memory lane 🙂

  2. Oh, man. I used to fly off of the shed in our backyard with a bath-towel close-pinned to my shirt. Occasionally, while wearing pie-plate sunglasses and terry-cloth short-alls. Maybe the why is, in part, growing old enough to appreciate how awesome that was?

  3. Great blog!!! I get called danger girl fairly frequently, mostly because I am a total clutz…

    I too was grounded from when I was about 11, til like, ya…now. I am 47. I still get in crap from my Dad…I asked him the other day if he knew me at all, he laughed so hard he forgot why he was giving me hell…

    Sidetrack ’em…works every time…

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