Dear Technology

Dear Technology,

I love and hate you.

I use to love my iPhone. Now I hate it. It thinks it is plugged into speakers and won’t play. I hate that the warranty is up and everyone says wait for the 5 to come out. There is a message that pops up either every 20 seconds or 20 minutes depending how it feels. The messages tells me that the device my phone is plugged into is not compatible with my phone then it eats my battery. My poor iPhone has dementia.

I love Bluetooth. My new car has a bluetooth radio. Since my stupid phone thinks headphones are already plugged in, I am unable to use the jack to connect to the radio to listen to my 1000+ songs. Bluetooth saved the day! It WIRELESSLY connects my music to my stereo. HaZZZZZZZZZZZZaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Suddenly me and Maroon5 are showing off our Jager moves. I heart you Bluetooth!

I hate you harmony remote. You are not easy or cheap. I want everything to be a touch screen and I want everything to understand my needs. I love Genetic Offspring for rescuing me and understanding my need for help RIGHT NOW…not in a minute. He figures out input for me then I can surf happily on my own. I HATE you Harmony Remote!

I love you Apple TV! I love your simple remote that is like an iPod. I love the secrets that you unveil. I love how tiny you are so you blend in and aren’t ugly. I love how you bring me ANY THING I WANT TO WATCH ANY TIME I WANT TO WATCH IT! You are simply delicious!

I hate you pedometer. You never let me adjust you the same way twice. It is always a crap shoot with you. AND I think you are not very accurate. I am quitting you.

I love you Kurig! You show me love every morning by making me the perfect cup of coffee. The only way you could be MORE perfect would be to fill my travel mug with ONE push of the button – not two and if you were Red. When you die…spit spit… I will upgrade you. But until then, I love you best of all. You are my scarecrow.

I hate you electronic time sheets! You have too many fields and make me change my password WAY TOO FREQUENTLY. I understand why, but remembering 90 different passwords because you are fussy just plain old pisses me off.

I love you 8G USB drive the size of my finger nail! You are tiny and pretty and hold every song ever created and slide into the USB port of my radio in my kick-ass awesome car. You even wink at me. I like that. It makes me feel pretty.

I hate you Kobo app. You won’t let me download books onto my iphone anymore. You make me do it on the computer then transfer them. You annoy me. I have gone back to paper books until I can get a kindle. I’ll show YOU how I really feel!

I love you Tiffany email. You show me pretty things every monday and give me Tony Bennet music for free and tell me I am deserving of lovely things. I agree, I am deserving of sparkly things.

I hate you blackboard. You are my nemesis this term. You have changed your file system so I can’t organize things the way I like too. I am telling my Prof. I hate you.

I love you google. You helped me plan a kick-ass surprise for a party I am going too. You help me find cool stuff and sometimes you show me stuff I wish I never saw. Still…my world is more awesome because you love me.

I hate you Technology and Love you at the same time. Mostly I love you. Please don’t quit.


9 thoughts on “Dear Technology

  1. hahaha… technology is such a wonderful thing when it works and such a nightmare when it doesn’t. I liked everything except the Keurig. Good coffee, but my wife and I go through way too much coffee to warrant a one-cup machine like that. And yes, you are deserving of sparkly things!

  2. I too love my Keurig, and how it pours some wonderful into my cup each morning (and midday, and afternoon). And I love my Kobo. And the Kobo app for BlackBerry that lets me read books on my phone at the playground. And the pedometer? Well, whether I hate it or not depends on what kind of day we’re having 🙂 Thanks for the chuckles!

      1. I love that I can carry around a bunch of different books from different genres all the time, that it’s so light, that I can prop it up on the treadmill or the elliptical trainer and read a book while I’m working out, and that it won’t get torn or stained if I stuff it in the go-bag with all the kids’ stuff. I don’t have an iPhone, which is maybe where Kindle would be better. I can buy books via the Kobo app on my BB. Also, because Kindle uses proprietary software some of the books I wanted to read (especially by Canadian authors) were not available for Kindle. I haven’t tried the Kindle, yet, though, or the Kobo Touch. Is it easier to use?

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