Today I am celebrating my first birthday! The Edmonton Tourist is One Year Old! YAY Me! 365 days later and 165 blog posts, I am still blogging. Other than raising my children, this is the longest thing I have stuck with! One year ago today I wrote this blog. I just re-read it to refresh my memory, I’m old you know, I need all the help I can get. The funny thing is, I feel younger today than I did a year ago. My new Tourist attitude has played a big part in my feeling better about myself. For those of you who are new-ish to the Edmonton Tourist Project, let me explain…
A year ago I woke up and hated the life, or more to the point, the me I had become. I decided I would have to change my life in order to like me again. I love traveling and I find myself trying things I never would do otherwise. So I decided to participate in my life as a tourist. It forced me to take risks, try new things and look at life from a different perspective. Well then, how did I do?
165 blogs are a lot to sift through. These blogs chronicle my life, feelings, adventures and sorrows in a way that I am proud of. Others years go by and I have no real way of measuring them. This past year is different.
The biggest change in me is letting go of the control that ruled my world. I went on 2 major holidays and did not plan either of them AND I lived to talk about it and tell everyone what I great time I had! I let the lack of control leak into work. Chicken Hawk worked with me for a couple of weeks and said “12 Points for you!” What did THAT mean? Someone had asked me how to do something and I said “I don’t know, you will have to ask…” Sure I knew, but if I said so, I would end up doing it. 12 points for me! I like the feeling of empowering the people around me, and I like watching them get excited when it works out so well. The bonus is LESS WORK FOR ME!
The next big challenge for me was to believe I am a smart. My job position and title didn’t help. I know I was capable of more but was scared to try. I had a friend who would ask my advise or my opinion and he would always say “it’s because you are the brains of the operation” I never felt smart but I knew I needed more of a challenge with my work. So, I applied for University and got in. My first class was intimidating. I wrote my first paper thinking I bombed it and would have to leave. I was scared to read my mark. it was an “A”. In fact all my papers came back with comments like “very insightful” “I had never looked at it from that perspective” “Well written”. Then Ego took over and I was strutting around because I now had PROOF I was smart. Then my finance class appeared. It got to the point of me praying for a pass, who cared what the mark was. I learned that everyone is smart in a different area. The good news? I passed! I have no idea what my mark is because it isn’t posted yet. But I know I won’t be repeating that class! PHEW! This has also lead me to think about my future in a way I had not contemplated it before. I have decided to major in Leadership for my MBA. I have learned not to waste the gifts you are born with. I am striving to live up to my potential. Education is doing that for me.
The next biggie for me was realizing the inside me did not match the outside me. Time to do something about that. It started with clothes and shoes. Then it moved to proper hair maintenance. Then I started moving more and eating less. Last year I wrote about watching the Edmonton Marathon and cheering them on. At no point during that race did I ever have the desire to be in it. In fact, I commented about not having the drive and commitment to do such a thing. Well, this year I found drive and commitment. I am not running the full marathon on Sunday, but I am walking the 1/2 marathon. I am shooting for under 4 hours. That is FAR. You know what? I know I can do it. I know what it takes, and I know how to fuel properly to make it happen. That is new. Food is fuel not your therapist. I invited about 150 people to come to my bbq afterwards to celebrate me and all the others in my posse who are in this marathon thingy too. I will expect about 30 people to come. The best part about long run sunday? I can eat ice cream and chocolate because I have burned enough calories! WOOT or in the words of my friend the Reader “WOW you can eat 2 Whoppers!” lol yuck.
This year wasn’t all great though. It was painful too. I had two major injuries that have slowed me down, torn MCL which is ALMOST healed, and a stress fracture on my left foot – same leg as my MCL injury. I think they are connected. Both painful and limiting. I am still moving forward though, and I will rest them AFTER Sunday. Emotional pain was also part of my journey. Friendships ended or changed and personal relationships fell apart. Part of it is I think sometimes people feel left behind and don’t want the other to change. Sometimes I think it is just me being lousy with personal relationships. I either put my entire self into it or ignore it completely. There is no happy medium. I have learned this: It is okay to expect others to give the same amount as you do. However, don’t be disappointed when they are not capable of giving more. All relationships are disappointing at some point during it’s course. It’s what you learn from it and how you apply it to the next phase is what’s important.
Finally the thing I learned that made the biggest impact on me is Don’t let fear hold you back. I said yes to new adventures and it was fun! I said yes to meeting new people and I like them! I said yes to eating Bleu Cheese Cheese Cake and LOVED it! Fear no longer has any meaning for me. Except when it comes to mice….still afraid those…oh and chickens…still afraid they will peck me.
Next up: Chapter II – The Edmonton Tourist Live and Uncensored!