Relationships are disappointing.
They never seem to turn out the way you hope and dream they will. I was chatting with my best girlfriend Friday night. She declared she is coming back as a lesbian in the next life. She agreed that being a woman is hard but the alternative is just not for her. So Lesbian it is.
What am I going to come back as? You mean you get to choose? If that’s the case, I will choose not to be a parent next time. It’s wonderful but exhausting. I need a vacation, so I choose to be childless. I also will choose to have my masters degree right off the bat. Have a successful career and be single. Date for sure! But I want the solitude that comes with me single. I want to make choices based on MY needs not everyone elses needs. I have started behaving that way but sometimes get flack for not taking food out of the freezer (like that’s MY job?) when I was at work all day, then off to my yoga class.
That brings me to this point.
My future ex-husband George has been incredible disappointing. He pays little or NO attention to me as of late, he hasn’t been working much. Then I discover he has a chickie on the side. WTF? Where has this loyalty got me? A little blue box? NO! A red carpet even in Christian Louboutins ? NO! Time in Como? I think not!
That tells me if I want something, I need to be responsible for it. No point waiting for someone else to do it for me. Polly and I are taking a road trip to Calgary to go to Tiffany’s ( and Coach and and and …) With my hard earned money I will go shopping! Not for anything big. Big is what I will reward myself with in January after a full year of Mo. No this is a small milestone. I am celebrating my decision to go back to school. I am 1 class short of completing my 3rd year. YAY me! I will have that by Christmas.
This year has been good, in spite of George’s ambivalence towards me. It has had it’s share of painful points but it has also had some incredibly uplifting moments. I have got to know my teens better than ever, I found new supports who are there for me every time I need them and most of all, I like me again.
George baby, call me when you are in town. I still like to look at you.