I had lunch today with one of my favorite “Lunch People”, Dr. Teeth. She is as groovy as the band leader but so has many other qualities that just make me want to quit my job and be her assistant and bask in her hilarity and adventurousness.
She entertained our troops today with a story about a Sudanese Interpreter. Being a sheltered Canadian Girl, she wanted to know what it was like to visit Sudan. He told her many horrifying tales but all she could think of was “How wonderful are the Elephants?” His reply was “ELEPHANTS?!? THEY ARE CRAZY! They TRY to stomp on you! Stay AWAY from ELEPHANTS!” She sighed with romantic flare and suggested she take a solo trip to Sudan – because like me – the thought of a solo trip is to amazing to let the possibility slip away. He replied with ARE YOU CRAZY? Not a good idea to travel to Sudan by yourself – EVER. Then her thoughts drifted to Nicaragua, possibly a solo trip…
I accused her of being a nut bar. The thought of needing 100 different shots and shooing away flying insects strong enough to steal your car is enough for me to say I’ll PASS, thanks! I suggested some place marvelous like New York City. That is the kind of trip you take solo. That didn’t seem to have enough excitement for her. She was just there for the New York Marathon and although she really enjoyed it, she needed more death defying adventure. I suspect her imagination is more like Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in African Queen then Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
I confessed at lunch to wanting a solo trip to New York City. A Colleague was shocked and said it was much too dangerous. Too Dangerous? 8 Million people live there. 8 Million people don’t DIE there, they LIVE there. How bad could it be? It’s not like I would walk around in a shirt that says “I am carrying all my money in my pocket, please help yourself!” I wouldn’t ask for trouble by telling people I am a tourist. I live by the credo of planning. PLAN PLAN PLAN. Read maps, have an itinerary, get the public transit app for my ipod and ask questions BEFORE I go. I know New York City isn’t where
Pollyanna Anne of Green Gables lives, I know how it is because I watch movies! I never watch the bad ones, I don’t enjoy them messing with my head. I know that Holly Golightly loved that town and it loved her. I know that after I eat my Breakfast at Tiffany’s I could go inside and they would treat me like a queen and sell me a $10 telephone dialer. I know that if it starts to snow I can go a lay in the middle of Rockefeller Center’s Skating Rink and John Cusak will throw a glove at me in a very Serendipitous fashion. I know if I was hungry and wanted to be as satisfied with my lunch as Sally was, I would go to Katz Deli and have what SHE had. I know that if I was looking for someone, all I need to do is talk nice to a cab driver and they would drive me all over the place looking for that person the same way Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra did in On the Town! If someone in New York ever asked me how do I know all these things, all I have to do is start singing in Central Park and parades of people would join in, offer me free stuff and lift me up over the Bow Bridge and throw flowers at me.
I know all this because my life is a movie.
Wait a minute, no it’s not… Sure I have a song for every occasion, but that does not mean I live in a musical. Sure I know a million people, Edmonton is a small city, but that does not mean I work with a cast of thousands. I just feel a bit delusional because Canada lost the Gold medal to Russia and I need a little fantasy moment to help me through the pain and agony of defeat.
If my life was a movie, Canada would have won and I would be going to New York City to celebrate because I would have been in Buffalo to watch the tournament. But it’s not. So I will go lick my wounds and start fresh tomorrow. Next year the Hockey Tournament is in Edmonton. I don’t need my life to be a movie because we’ll win next year.