I kid you not, dinner with my Muppet Family is HILARIOUS! Our regular, everyday life is filled with bizarre and strange happenings that only seem to happen to us and Newfies. This always makes for interesting conversation.
Mrs. Statler “Hmmm? Sure I do.”
ET: “You know Mrs. Statler is you right?”
Mrs. Statler: ” What?!”
Later on in the evening, we sat with Cousin Animal. Now that he is balding you can see the scar on his head where he had surgery a few years back. He said he feels self-conscious when people ask him what happened. So being the kind and thoughtful Muppet family we are, we all offered suggestions:
“Tell people you brother pushed in your baby soft spot when you were little” or “I cut myself shaving” or “everyone has that scar, wait until you go bald” We are a kind and loving family.
Tonight at dinner, we were engaged in lovely conversation when my brother Gonzo (who is 41), was laying on the couch, suddenly jumps up, interrupts the conversation with: “I got a bookmark and a Qutluch for Christmas!” My Dad looks at him and asks, “What the …? Is a Qutauch?” “A Klingon war weapon!” The room went silent and we all stared at Gonzo for a good five minutes. He sat there smiling because he thought we were jealous. My Dad turns to Granny The Ukrainian Swedish Chef and says, “that’s why we keep him in the corner”.
Granny The Ukrainian Swedish Chef said: “I thought it would be nice. I told the girls at Bridge about it and they kept adding 5lbs to the turkey as the night went on. Before you knew it they had accused me of buying a 75lb Turkey”
Mom: “But what on earth possessed you to buy such a big Turkey?”
Granny the Ukrainian Swedish Chef’s grandson said: “I am willing to bet she bought it because it was on sale AND double Airmiles. She will cook it up and send half on the Greyhound Bus to British Columbia and the other half to Saskatchewan and not eat any for herself.”
Granny the Ukrainian Swedish Chef shrugs her shoulders and said: “But it was a good deal!”
So there you have it, a very small but insightful look at my Muppet Family Christmas. Two family dinners down, one more to go. Boxing Day tomorrow with Honey’s Family. I know you are wondering if they are crazy Muppets too. My answer is, of course they are! Do you really think I would be a part of anything else?
It's time to play the music It's time to light the lights It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight. It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight. Why do we always come here I guess we'll never know It's like a kind of torture To have to watch the show And now let's get things started Why don't you get things started It's time to get things started On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational This is what we call the Muppet Show ARTIST: Jim Henson and Sam Pottle TITLE: The Muppet Show Theme Song