Since When did Old become Middle Aged?

The other day I was chatting with a friend when it was mentioned that a mutual contacted had passed away. I commented what a shame it was for his family. My conversational partner said, “it is, because he was so young!”

The man was 67. In my books that is already old. Young to me is under 30. Under 30’s usually haven’t really figured themselves out yet. I say usually because I believe there are exceptions to every rule. I can list 3 people off the top of my head who are under 30 who have it all together. Good for them! I didn’t. I pretended I did. That didn’t work out to well for me. But as with all things imaginary, that ended and reality marched in front and center and I evolved into what I call middle-aged.

Middle aged to me is somewhere between 35 and 45. I know you are all shocked but COME ON! Middle aged means double your age and that is old age. 35 x 2 =70. 70 is old. The Government of Canada expects you to retire before then and they will happily pay you your old age benefit of $265 plus change. That doesn’t cover my coffee bill for the month, so hopefully I will be dead by then.

People who are 63 and say they are middle age have me looking at them askew. 63 x 2 = 126. WHO WANTS TO LIVE THAT LONG?!?!? Not me. I hurt enough already. My knees will have to be replaced long before then. The body just wears out, not to mention the mind. So get a grip people! Embrace your age!

When my grandma was my age she had 3 grandchildren and another on the way. Aged 43 with grandchildren, FORTY THREE!!! When I was little, Grandma’s were considered old. Are they still? I met a Grandma not long ago who was younger than me. THANK GOODNESS that is not my fate! Listen up Offspring, it better not be my fate for a very long time – if ever.

That is not say that you have to fear aging. My Great Grandmother lived until the ripe old age of 98 1/2. I included the 1/2 like we did when we were kids and couldn’t wait to be old because I think when you are 98, the world deserves to know that you are 98 and “how much”. You paid your dues, brag a little! At any rate, she had a hard time moving around by then but she was still sharp as a tack and hilarious. I loved going to visit her. She smelled of pears soap, always had a box of Laura Secord Jellies, and would comment about the residents dropping like flies. She was a teacher for the Saskatchewan School system and screwed them out of decades of teacher pension pennies. I never heard her complain about being old. I’m sure she did, just not to me and maybe not to her grandchildren either. From her I learned you suck up what life deals you and get on with it. No point crying over it. Laugh at it instead, it makes it tolerable.

So here I sit at 43, half way to 86. I never want to experience under 30 again. I am screwed if reincarnation is true. Between you and me, I have to say I love being in my 40’s. I couldn’t say that about the other decades I experienced. Sure there were moments I loved, some I liked, but mostly I like this decade the best so far.

I like being confident and smart. Those two words never use to be in the same sentence. Even now as I write this, it feels odd to declare yourself as smart without the self-depreciating humor attached to it. Or maybe I can enjoy the self-depreciating humor because I am smart. Either way, I like how it feels. I do need to do something about the vessel that carries me further down the path into senior citizen. I really want to take advantage of senior discounts, and brag that I am on a “fixed Income” even though I currently am on a “fixed income” and work full-time. But to do all this and achieve my dreams of being a cranky senior tightwad, I need to shed some weight. I want to be healthy-ish.

I have a great start, and shed a few pounds this summer. I need to move more. So that is what I am going to do. The next stop on my adventure is not going to be a stop after all.

I will keep moving.

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